Why I Run: Running From vs. Running To

Over the summer, I was invited to talk at The Story Collider by my friend Ari Daniel, who hosts the local chapter in Boston. For those of you unfamiliar with The Story Collider, think of it as the science version of The Moth. And if you haven’t heard of The Moth, just think of live storytelling.

Speakers are invited to share a story on stage, in front of an audience, that has some sort of resemblance to science. While I would like to believe that I was selected for my charming stage presence, I think it was more guilt that I was leaving the city. And what a wonderful parting present it was.

I worked with the fantastic storytellers Ari Daniel and Katie Wu, who produce local shows in their free time, on top of both working as science journalists at NOVA. They guided me through my journey to select and curate a story. Through the process, I learned more about myself than I thought I would.

I spoke about being lost in my early twenties and using running as a crutch to feel accomplishment. I spoke about my transformation into an adultier adult and excitement about the unknown. You might be wondering, “how is this related to science?” Well it’s not! I don’t know why they let me do this talk! But it was a great way to sum up my time in Boston and get ready for the next chapter of my life.

As I am currently training for my 5th (6th?) half marathon and gaining more confidence and clarity about my career, I thought it’d be appropriate to share my journey here.

So please enjoy and feel free to use the beautiful picture of my face below as reference for how I talk with my hands.

How I talk with my hands at The Oberon in Cambridge, MA.

Being the Dumbest Person In the Room, Means You’re In the Right Room

During admissions, I was told that the ETC recruits 40% artists, 40% programmers, and 20% of random people that are the “binding glue.” I was to fall into the 20%, which meant 1) that it would be harder for me to get in and 2) that when I got in, I would be behind in skill sets.

When I got in, I found the latter to be definitely true.

I was assigned as an Artist in Building Virtual Worlds (BVW). BVW is a semester-long course where you work in two week design sprints with alternating teams of five students (two programmers, two artists, and one sound designers) to build original virtual worlds that fulfill different objectives. As an artist, my role was to provide art for the worlds, which meant that I had to learn to 3D model, texture, rig, and animate in one week.

I cried during my first week. I was sick. This was hard. After having been out of school for three years, it was difficult to make an adjustment back to school mentality.

I spent the entire Labor Day weekend trying to complete my first assignment: 3D modeling a dragon. Which is just about as hard as it sounds if you’ve never done it before. I spent four hours just trying to open a file in Photoshop.

While I struggled to complete this assignment, many other artists around me were done in a few hours. Some artists even made two dragons! I had strong doubts that I didn’t belong in the program.

But at the end of the weekend, with a LOT of help from my peers, I did it.

Since that weekend, I’ve become a much better artist. I modeled an entire purgatory underworld, Evel Knievel rubber ducks, and an office scene with at least 30 inanimate objects. Granted at first, my models weren’t so great (my 3D clouds looked like literal poop), I learned a ton, and I learned it really fast. I’m really surprised about how far I’ve come, and I have to thank my peers for that.

While being the dumbest person in the room can be scary and intimidating, it helps when you’re surrounded by people who are willing to teach you. One of the most valuable resources that we have at the ETC is actually our peers. While I’ve learned high concepts from my professors, my peers have been the ones to explain to me how to correctly UV map, paint skin weights, and keyframe animations.

As a lifelong learner, the scariest thing for me isn’t being the dumbest person in the room, it’s being in a place where I have no one to learn from.

TL;DR Not knowing what you’re doing is ok.

Grad School Is Weird, Man

If I could describe the ETC program in one word it would be: WEIRD. And HARD.

On our first day of class, we built towers out of spaghetti. Last week, we learned how to juggle. This week, I debuted as Angela from American Beauty and learned to seduce men in improv.

Our team wrecking the competition at a spaghetti + marshmallow building contest.

I knew my program was going to be nontraditional, but I didn’t think it would be this weird.

And the weirdest thing is that the weirdness is what makes this hard. With traditional assignments, there’s usually only one right answer. But with the assignments that we receive, there’s an infinite number of possibilities. And we’re tasked with thinking of the infinite outside of the infinite, to go beyond what’s already been done. Which means that a lot of what we end up making ends up being…well, weird.

What I’ve learned from this daily exercise of thinking outside of the box is that:

1. Creativity is a muscle.

   Being creative is not an easy task. It takes practice. I used to think that some people were just more creative than others. In reality, being creative is a muscle that you have to exercise everyday to get better and stronger. And trust me, the ETC is giving me a really good workout.

2. Creativity comes when you say yes.

   It’s really easy to poke holes in other people’s ideas. It’s really hard to help fix them. Saying yes to other people’s ideas even when you see the flaws, can actually be surprisingly productive.

3. Creative potential is unlimited.

   I sometimes feel like I’ve hit a wall, like I have no more good ideas left. It’s about ten ideas past that point, that I start to actually come up with the best ideas.

Although this program is a little bit painful, and a lot a bit weird, I am so excited for what I’ll come up with in the next two years. I hope it’s weirder than my wildest imaginations.

TL;DR Weird builds creativity.

How’d I Get Here?

During the first week of school the question to ask was: “Are you an artist, programmer, or sound designer?” To which I would answer, “None of the above.”

My background is in science education. I studied biology and psychology in college, and I loved science. But I liked talking about science, more than I liked actually doing it. I interned at STEM outreach programs, mentored students in low-income areas, and even designed my own after school STEAM program for my senior thesis. As a result, I ended up working at NOVA, the public science television program, as a production assistant for the education team.

At NOVA, I realized the power of media to educate, and saw the growing potential for games and interactive experiences to reach a more diverse audience. However, I didn’t have the skill sets necessary to build those experiences.

I discovered the ETC through coincidence. I was looking into the career paths’ of employees at companies that I admired, trying to figure how I could get there. I found Michelle Cohen, the Director of Creative Programming at the Two Bit Circus (at the time). She studied at the Entertainment Technology Center, and when I looked into it, I realized that I had actually read about the program years ago.

For my high school graduation, my dad had given me Randy Pausch’s book, “The Last Lecture,” as a guiding philosophy to starting my adult life. I had read that book with fervor, and if anyone asked, it was my favorite book. It also happened to be the ten year anniversary of “The Last Lecture,” when I rediscovered the program. It was too much of a coincidence.

Although it seemed like the right fit and there were many guiding signs, I worried that I wasn’t qualified enough. But I visited the ETC anyway, and when I walked through the doors, I knew this is where I had to be. On the admissions floor, I was greeted by a twenty foot long, floor-to-ceiling installation of an intergalactic space ship control center. I was hooked.

Now, here I am in the ETC Class of 2020. I feel blessed to be able to walk by the space ship control center every morning. And I’m neither an artist, programmer, or sound designer. But, I’m here to learn.

Me standing in front of the control center on the 5th floor of the ETC excitedly pointing to my name.

TL;DR I’m here to build cool things for science.